Posted in Absurdity, Art, Fiction, Horror, Humor, Propaganda, Psych, Realism, Satire, tagged americana, Barack Obama, NSA, Politics, PRISM, Rene Magritte, Surveillance, The False Mirror, Verizon, Wiretapping on June 8, 2013|
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The False Mirror, Rene Magritte, 1928
I’ve been in kind of a rut lately, so I thought I’d shake things up a little. First, I bought a copy of “The Anarchist Cookbook” on Amazon. Then I called a bunch of my friends on my Verizon phone and ranted to their voicemails like “Let’s start a revolution against Big Brother and destroy the status quo!” and so on. Finally I went on 4chan and proposed that Anonymous should hack the White House and publish Obama’s browser history, or whatever it is Anonymous does. I was certain the government would quickly identify me as a potential threat to their surveillance-driven oligarchy, and my life would soon become much more adventurous and exciting.
Alas, I just received the following email from the NSA:
“Dear Mr. O’Brien,
We thank you for your interest in the United States Government, and are flattered by your desire to become an enemy of the state. Unfortunately, after careful examination, we have decided that you have neither the intelligence nor the influence to become a legitimate threat to us. Of course, we’ll still continue to monitor your every transaction and communication, and we wish you the best of luck in all your future endeavors. But we thought we should let you know that we really don’t take you very seriously as an adversary.
PS – Your dog’s bowl needs fresh water.”
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Posted in Absurdity, Fiction, Fictional Non-Fiction, Humor, Language, Non-Fiction, Propaganda, Satire, tagged americana, Barack Obama, Mitt Romney, Politics, Propaganda on December 6, 2011|
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I have to say I admire the Mitt Romney campaign for being so honest about how dishonest they are. They took some of Barack Obama’s words out of context- like, practically as far out of context as you could possibly take words. Obama was quoting someone else, and the Romney folks made it look like he was expressing his own opinions. Then to justify their out-of-contexting, an anonymous Romney op uttered this flabbergasting explanation:
First of all, ads are propaganda by definition. We are in the persuasion business, the propaganda business … Ads are agitprop … Ads are about hyperbole, they are about editing. It’s ludicrous for them to say that an ad is taking something out of context … All ads do that. They are manipulative pieces of persuasive art.
Dudes, do you realize what this means? This changes everything! There’s no such thing as “out of context” anymore! How awesome is that? I’m so sick of context ruining all the things I want to pass off as truth. No more libel lawsuits for this guy!
Hey, did you guys know that Mitt Romney once said, and I motherfucking quote, “Unemployment rates do not matter to the average American?” He said it on his twitter once. Maybe he was quoting someone else, and maybe he wasn’t; point is, the dude tweeted that shit, so that means he means it. That’s right: Mitt Romney said you don’t care about all the unemployment, average American!
DISCLAIMER: If, by some slim chance, it turns out that what I’ve just written is far less than 100% true, then I can’t be held accountable. This is simply my manipulative piece of persuasive art, dammit.
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