A Friendly Bird That Embraces All Ideas

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So Shines “A Goon’s Deed In A Weary World”

There must’ve been dozens of magazine lists and spirited conversations about the best series finales of all-time, but does anyone ever talk about the best penultimate episodes ever?  I never thought about Best Penultimate Episodes until 30 Rock‘s “A Goon’s Deed In A Weary World.”  It’s as funny as the show ever was in its prime, plus 500% sweeter without ever threatening to cloy.   I got tingly for real twice during the last few minutes, when Liz met her “about right” children, and when Jack Donaghy poured himself a drink while allowing Kenneth to enjoy a full-body jump-hug.  By the way, I don’t want to say I told you so, especially since it wasn’t exactly what I predicted over 8 months ago, but I sort-of told you so that Kenneth would end up in such a position.  Then again, there’s still plenty of time for Kenneth’s position to change even further, and that’s the genius of “A Goon’s Deed”: it feels like it’s wrapped up all these arcs, but with one more (two-part) episode left, it leaves me slobbering over where it could possibly go from here.

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The 30 Rock Syndication Censorship Game

Certain words and phrases have been censored during syndicated airings of 30 Rock even though they passed standards & practices when they originally aired on NBC.  Can you guess which of these words are too raunchy for reruns?

1. erection

2. pooping

3.  jags

4.  ball

5.  Micks

6.  Hot Richard

7. douche

8. McFlurry

9. squeezer

10. boning

*

*

*

*

*

Censored: 2, 4, 5, 7, 10  Uncensored: 1, 3, 6, 8, 9

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That’s Not That Much Cheese.

As much as I love 30 Rock, I’m at peace with its recently-announced expiration date.  It’s had a great run, and while I still think it’s one of the funniest things on TV, its batting average has been slipping a bit in the past couple seasons.  And now at least they can focus on how Kenneth the Page will end up in charge of Kabletown.

All I ask is that before it’s over, they bring back Jerem at least once.  Nobody does “unimpressed” as awesomely as Jerem.

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21st Century TV Shows Are 1970s Filmmakers

gif courtesy of iwdrm.tumblr.com

The Sopranos is Francis Ford Coppola, duh.  Martin Scorsese‘s a little too flashy for The Sopranos so he gets to be Breaking Bad, with all the shovel-POV shots and such.

Steven Spielberg has to be LOST: heaps of gee-whiz! with a dollop of schmaltz.

I’ve never seen Battlestar Galactica, but I want to say that one’s George Lucas.  Of the shows I have seen, the closest George Lucas might be Heroes– though in fairness to Lucas, Heroes started sucking in way less time.

Friday Night Lights is Robert Altman, particularly Nashville, where country music is high school football and the acting is unbelievably natural.

Louie is obviously Woody Allen, only I think I could actually hang out with Louie’s alter ego without wanting to slap the neuroses out of him.

Mad Men is Stanley Kubrick, I think.  Clinically sterile on the surface, but still very human at its core.  Also because they both feel like Americans who love America but wish they were British so they could see America from a British perspective.

If all those Discovery & History Channel reality shows about dangerous, nature-battling jobs (Deadliest Catch, Ice Road Truckers) procreated with all those A&E and TLC reality shows about mentally-disturbed weirdos (Hoarders, My Strange Addiction), the offspring would be Werner Herzog.

If all those tacky, tasteless MTV & VH1 reality shows (Jersey Shore, Flavor Of Love) fucked each other, the offspring would be John Waters.  (This is meant as a compliment to John Waters, and as an insult to the reality shows.  I’m not sure how that works, but that’s how it is.)

If Wes Craven and John Carpenter and Tobe Hooper and Brian DePalma and Dario Argento had an orgy and the offspring got mostly recessive genes, that offspring would be American Horror Story. 

Carnivale is David Lynch, because of the genuinely eerie Americana and all the unanswered questions.

The Walking Dead is George Romero if he took his sweet, sweet time a la Terrence Malick.  Though of course Terrence Malick is more Planet Earth. 

30 Rock might have to be Mike Nichols, though of course it has plenty of Mel Brooks too.  But with all the genre-spoofing, Mel Brooks should probably be Community.  And I guess that would mean Arrested Development is John Landis.  The Office (US Version) is Hal Ashby (unless Parks And Recreation is Hal Ashby).  The Office (UK Version) is more realistic and uncomfortable to watch, so that’s John Cassavetes.  How I Met Your Mother is meta-Arthur Hiller (the guy who directed Love Story as well as a couple of Neil Simon scripts).  I can’t think of who It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia would be.  Who’s the most mean-spirited and irredeemably obnoxious 1970s filmmaker?

I have yet to see Homeland or Rubicon, but they’re Alan Pakula, right?  Because conspiracies and shit?

The Wire would have to be Sidney Lumet, with the criminals and the scathing social commentary of modern urban…OK, I’m just guessing on this one too, since I’ve only seen like 4 episodes of The Wire, and I’m ashamed to admit this.

Deadwood is either Walter Hill or Sam Peckinpah, since it takes the brutality inherent in early-20th Century Westerns and reconfigures it through modern…

…all right, I’ve seen zero episodes of Deadwood.

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