Dr. Korchek’s glorious love letter from Steven Soderbergh’s Schizopolis. Happy Valentines.
Dear Attractive Woman Number Two,
Only once in my life have I responded to another person the way I’ve responded to you. But I’ve forgotten when it was or, even if it was in fact me that responded.
I may not know much, but I know that the wind sings your name endlessly, although with a slight lisp that makes it difficult to understand if I’m standing near an air conditioner.
I know that your hair sits atop your head as though it could sit nowhere else.
I know that your figure would make a sculptor cast aside his tools, injuring his assistant who was looking out the window instead of paying attention.
I know that your lips are as full as that sexy French model’s that I desperately want to fuck.
I know that if I could, for an instant, have you lie next to me, or, on top of me, or sit on me, or stand over me and shake, then I would be the happiest man in my pants.
I know all of this and yet, you do not know me. Change your life. Accept my love. Or, at least let me pay you to accept it.
Dr. Jeffrey Korchek